Tuesday, February 16, 2010

a craving

Have you ever wanted something so much that you ached?
I have.
I do.
Everytime I see a women with child, a little part of me aches inside.
I have wanted a baby for so long.

When Maribel came, she was our miracle. There were so many things that could have stopped us from adopting her into our family but Heavenly Father had other plans for her and for us. She was meant for us and we know it. She's ours. I even nursed her with an SNS (Supplemental Nursing System). But even after all of that there is still a small part that ached for the experience of being pregnant longer then a few weeks.

I have learned over the years that it isn't always our time that is best for us, but that it's the Lord's time. Man I wish those were the same sometimes.

But I've had an experience, a confirmation that I will have my chance but not before we open our hearts and home once more to another sweet soul in need.
He's coming.
We've been told.
We just don't know when or how, but he's coming.
Our boy.
Our Morgan.

So for now I take joy in the joy of others and I share their excitement of the first kick and yes, I will take the blame for those uncontrolable left cheek sneaks that creap out threatening to wipe out every living thing within a league. Because when it's my turn, I can only hope that someone would be willing to do the same for me.



Suzanne said...

Oh Jenn, I'm sorry this is your challenge in life. I'm happy that you have Maribel and hope that a little Morgan blesses you soon! (((HUGS)))

Lisa and DJ said...

This is seriously a challenge that no one should have to go through. Life isn't fair and it just plain sucks. I can't wait to meet baby Morgan...whoever, wherever and whenever he is!

Kirsten said...

That sucks, no other way to put it. But there is enough love for Morgan when he is there for you, no doubt about it

Julie said...

(((HUGS))) I know this must be tough and I am not speaking from experience,nor do I intend to know truly what you are feeling,but I do know that every child deserves a good loving family and Maribel sure has one.

Emily said...

Maribel and Morgan...Perfect!!!!
{{{Hugs}}} :o)

Jared and Andrea said...

I got some goosebumps reading this post! I love how in tune you are about all of this. You are inspirational to me. Hang in there, girl!
By the way, love Maribel's pic of her mommy. No worries, I totally sport a mustache sometimes. Did you see the 30 Rock where Tina Fey's character let hers grow in? Hilarious. She named it Tom-- Tom Selleck. Haha.

PamelaM said...

If you were close I would give you a big hug. Any child would be blessed to have you as a mommy.

Hollee said...

Jen - you're a quirkily awesome Chick, and not just any kiddo would do for you! :) That kind of kiddo takes preperation and perfect timing! I'm positive the man upstairs has great plans for you, and I can't wait for it all to work out! :) (((HUGS))) till then! :)